Shared Topic: A Convo With Exxy

From Blog Azeroth’s Shared Topic:

If you gave your character a voice, how would a conversation between you and them go?
How would you interact with them? Would you play god? How would your character sound? Would they be intelligent, witty, or be the embodiment of the stereotypical “huntard”?

Ahh.. Exxy!

I could only imagine what Exanna would say to me.  My first glimpse of her every morning, of course, is at the character screen.  She stands there, looking all holy and priestly in her robe.  Her T-10 helm giving her a demure look, as the heat seemingly rises off the top.  I cannot see her eyes, but she can see mine.  Her look is so sophisticated, but as soon as I log in, this is the first thing I would probably hear.

Exanna: Hey, you there!  You worked me pretty fecking hard last night!

Me: Oh, hey, Exxy, what’s up?  Looking pretty good in your-

Exanna: (flipping back the helm quickly)  Now look here.  I am not a machine!  Four hours and no kill.  Four hours of people who don’t know to run from a vortex?  Four hours of people who insist on standing in slime spray!  I mean really.  Can’t you talk to those retards?  How hard can it be?  Watch, I will show you. (making a running start)  See, I just pop this bubble.. (PW:S + Body and Soul), and voila- fast run!

Me: Um, Exxy, you do know that you are the only one in the raid with that talent?  Right?

Exxy:  I know, but you need to push the button.  It’s four on your mouse right?  Tell them to run as soon as they see that damn bubble, just take off, ya know?

Me:  But I can’t bubble everybody at the same time.

Exxy: I know, but me and some other priests in here have been talking.  We are going to get Blizz to change the game- not just bubbles- but the entire priest game.

Me:  And how do you plan on doing that?

Exxy:  You’ve worked me so hard the last three weeks.. I am going on vacation.   (runs to the bank to pack) Me and the other priests are taking a trip on the information superhighway.  I will be back in a week.

Me: You can’t just leave.  We have several raids scheduled.  I don’t know where you think you’re going anyway.  Information super-what?  That’s funny.

Exxy: Don’t laugh.  It’s not vacation.  It’s really a uhhhh.. top-secret mission.  (tapping on screen and whispering)Come closer.  Listen.  Me and these priests.. we found a crack in the wall in Dalaran.  It leads to a secret portal room, and we figured out if you Body and Soul bubble and then Fade, you can slip right through.

Me: I don’t believe that, but I will humor you.  Where does this crack go, Exxy?

Exxy:  Duh, the secret portal room!  You don’t listen do you? (folding arms and shaking head)  Anyway, only GMs can use the portals.  They’ve been so busy trying to solve all of you whiny people’s problems with bugged bosses and failed loot that they haven’t even noticed that we’re inside figuring out our next move.  And now we are going to go to The Source. 

Me:  The Source?

Exxy:  Yep.  We’ve figured out the code to access the portal to The Source.  The Source is where all of us first came alive.  The Source is where I first laid eyes on you.  It’s where I picked you to be mine.

Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa.  I picked you!

Exxy: Yeah, keep thinking like that.  That’s what Blizz wants all of you to believe. (shouting to another toon)  Hey, Soliss, my gal believes that ish, too.  Can you believe it?  Haha! 

Me: Hey, stop that!

Exxy: Anyhoo, The Source turned on us priests a long time ago.  Nerfed our heals, gave us crap damage, and made it to where we would have to share gear with everyone else.  WTF is that about?  But we got a fix for them, and you, dear, hold the key.

Me: Me? Whaaaa?

Exxy:  Yep, we found the code that will change everything.  No more 6 second CD on Circle of Healing.  More built in haste and mana regen, adjustable spellpower on a sliding scale, and oh yeah- we’re getting the ultimate chain heal.  Eff a shammie.

Me: So how do you plan on doing that?

Exxy:  I need you.  You are the key.  So just type this code into your chatbox. Slash, 6-9-1-I-A

Me: Okay one sec, let me get this..

Exxy: M-A-D- you got that?

Me: Yes okay.

Exxy: : U-M-B-dash-dash

Me:  Slow down.

Exxy:  A-S-S. Okay, read that back.

Me: Slash- 6-9-1-I-A-M- wait this spells something.

Exxy: (devlish grin)

Me: I am a.. dumbass.  What?  What the frack is this?  I am a dumbass!  Seriously?  Ex-

Exxy: Gotchaaaaaaa.  You really think Blizz is going to do something for us? (sitting to logout) Stop working me so damn hard.   (slips helm back on)

You have been disconnected from the server.

Happy Raiding!


3 responses to this post.

  1. That was really cute. I think I like Exxy… and her crazy ideas.
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..Shared Topic: First Sign of Madness =-.


  2. Posted by Soliss on February 6, 2010 at 10:40 am



  3. Posted by Hamacus on February 12, 2010 at 10:28 am

    ROTFLMAO. As a long time Priest I loved this so much. Sounds so much like my inner dialog to my Priesty. New to your site but love it already. Keep up the good work.

    Being a Priest is enough to drive anyone insane : )
    Can someone please get this straightjacket off me…make it hard to heal.


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